My sins are numbered as many as grains of sand on the beaches and oceans of the world. I deserve to be parted from God in eternity. That, however, makes little difference to me. It is not my soul that I am worried about and it is not my eternal future that concerns me.

Would I like to go to Heaven and be with God and Christ? Yes, most defiantly!!! But I know that I don’t deserve it. I am not worried at my future because I know what I deserve. I know as Christ said, many are called but few are chosen. It is a very thin door to enter the Kingdom.

If my words bring one person to God and Salvation, my sacrifice was more than worth it!!! And in my punishment I will rejoice. Peculiar thought some might think, but it is not for me that I live and is not for me that I work. I try to do what I think God what might want, but I don’t really know God as well as some claim. I know that most everyone’s thoughts and lack of simple gestures of love are not what Jesus preached and may lead to eternal despair. In the past I was definitely a thorn in the garden and I know nothing that I do can win my Salvation, but it is only through God’s Grace that that can be obtained. But I do not despair at all.

I am a being made in the image of God and I am laden with both origin Sin and that of my own making. But I believe that Grace will carry me through. But, I am not counting on it. Like James said, Faith without works is dead. I believe Grace without a show of Faith in what I do, will result in tragedy!!! I believe we have our whole life to emulate the two greatest Commandments. Loving God with our whole heart, body, soul, and mind and loving others as we love our selves. I have not loved myself much through my life and am not sure exactly how to show love to others.

I do try to manage a smile to someone I have a disagreement with or who disappointments me; however, I have thoughts against them and do not manage that smile as often as I should. I am often disagreeable with others when I should show them love through common curtsey. I hesitate and often blow up when some other driver makes me impatient and those at the market who seem not to hurry enough for me. I have had thoughts about woman who I would like to know in the “biblical sense,” even in church. And from my understanding of Christ’s teachings those are infractions that God the Father sees as Sins.

So where does that leave you or I, well you will have to determine that for yourself. I will try through my lame, inadequate way to show more love, but I know I will fail. But that and my belief in God’s unlimited Grace will not stop me. Yes God’s Grace for Salvation is free for the asking, but I am not counting on that and will at least trying to be a better Christian. It may not make a difference in the end, because most everything that we do is a Sin is God’s eye, but His Son is a really good defense attorney, and it is God the Father and His Son that I care about, not me. So if you became a better Christian through something I wrote and I wound up in Hell, I would rejoice in that!!!

If it is my future to go to hell for what I have done, I will be the one in Hell pissing off Satan for prays for those in God's Heaven have an eternity of joy and be grateful for my punishment.

My Blessing here on Earth have been more than I could have expected and my disobedience has been legendary!!! Well yes, I do think that I will be in Heaven, but I know it is not what I deserve!!! How about you? Humor me and do something nice today, tomorrow and the rest of your life!

I worry about today and try to do my best and Eternity will take care of itself.

Jim +